DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER I caught my wife under a blanket with another man, she told me nothing was going on.
She expects me to believe they were both just cold and fell asleep on our sofa. I can’t get past this.
I’m 47, she is 42 and we have been happily married for 15 years.
Lately, our neighbour has been coming over often to measure up and do odd jobs, as he’s a carpenter. Usually, I’m out at work.
We’ve known him for a few years and get on well. He is married with two young children.
He looks like a typical middle-aged man. I’ve never seen him as a threat, or felt my wife was attracted to him.
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Last weekend, I was off work sick with the flu, and stayed in bed most of the day. As I was feeling slightly better, I went downstairs to watch TV.
Earlier, I’d heard my wife talking to someone. But it had gone quiet, so I assumed whoever it was had left.
However, when I walked into the living room I had a fright — my wife and our neighbour were sitting under a blanket on the sofa.
They jumped up very quickly. Both were fully clothed. “Oh God!” my wife said. “We must have fallen asleep.
We were talking and it was so cold I got a blanket. The next thing I knew you were here.”
I didn’t know what to say. Did they think I was born yesterday?
My neighbour apologised, made his excuses and left.
Since then, my wife has continued to deny any wrongdoing. She is upset with me for not trusting her.
But I feel I’m being taken for a fool and lie awake picturing the scene. Is she having an affair?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife’s story does sound a little far-fetched but that doesn’t mean she is lying.
As you say, they were fully clothed, knew you were upstairs and she is blatantly sticking to her story.
If you’re happily married, and never had reason to distrust her, perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt, at least for now.
After all, accusing her of cheating is only making her defensive.
My support pack, Relationship MOT, should help you both to discuss any issues in your marriage.
Couples’ counselling could also help, and might allow her to open up, especially if she has been less than honest.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (020 7380 1960, tavistockrelationships.org).
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