DEAR DEIDRE: JUST ten days after we got engaged, I caught my partner talking intimately with other women online.
Instead of showing some dignity and getting out of my life, he’s now trying to fleece me of all my savings.
He’s 32 and I’m 29. We were together for seven years and always had a pretty good relationship.
The first time I became aware something was amiss was when I was scrolling through his Instagram and realised that he hadn’t posted any photos of our engagement party.
I thought it was an occasion that he would want to share.
When I asked him about it he got defensive and shut the conversation down instantly.
I did everything I could to push it to the back of my mind, but no matter what I did I couldn’t ignore my gut.
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It’s not something I’m proud of, but one night when he was sleeping I decided to look through his phone.
When I clicked on his Instagram messages I was shocked to find an array of flirty conversations with women. Some dated back years.
I woke him up to confront him about it but he showed no signs of guilt, and instead of apologising he just moved into the spare room.
I was so hurt that I said I wanted to call off the wedding.
But to my surprise he ignored me, saying he wasn’t going anywhere until I agreed to give him possession of our home.
The home that I had put in £40,000 for, while he contributed a mere £5,000.
I’m at a loss and I’m terrified I’ll end up with nothing.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear about the way he has treated you, but know that you have made the right decision.
A life partner is someone who you should be able to trust, and who supports you for better or worse.
As painful as it is, try to focus on moving forward. I’m sending you my support pack Moving On which will help you through this transition.
As for the house, it would be best to get some legal advice.
When you bought your property, you would have signed a Deed Of Trust, which is a legal document used to record how much money each person has contributed.
It’s there to ensure what will happen to this money if the property is sold in the event of a break-up.
For advice, contact Rights Of Women (rightsofwomen.org.uk) who will be able to advise you.
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